Posting

One day I was walking in a sort of abandoned soccer field, it was a plain surface with yellowish grass here and there, mostly dried dirt, almost dust. I was walking, one step after another, just walking. Suddenly it felt really good not having anything on may way. I became sort of hypnotized by my own steps. My eyes started to follow the my passing of the ground which at times became the passing of me and at other times became as if the ground was moving in the same direction as my steps. It started being fascinating. Suddenly, I don’t remember if I looked up or if I just perceived somehow an obstacle: a football goalkeeper post, from where I saw it it appeared as a white metal post in front of me. There it was and it made me stop. I stopped. I became paralyzed. Completely paralyzed. I kept thinking in so many possibilities I had from there, I could just keep walking and go around the post, I could just walk and even approach the post and touch it, I could walk slower and approach the post, I could totally change my direction and just keep walking and forget about the post. But how now to forget about the post, how? It was there and there was nothing I could do. FUCK! I must have stayed there about 15 minutes just going around in my head different options I had. At other moments I would just be without thinking anything, I was just there posting? At some point it just became fascinating how giving a next step was so difficult and so easy at the same time. It was as if I could decide the degree of difficulty or the degree of easiness. But it also was as If I really wanted not not not to decide. I mean, I didn’t decide for the pole to appear there in front of my path! But apparently I walked directly toward it’s position. In such an open field how is it that I walked in the direction of that pole? Anyway, while paralyzed I had the most amazing imaginations of me and the pole. Then, suddenly, I realized I had been paralyzed for almost 15 minutes, it could have been 30, it could have been 5. It felt long. It felt why? There was a moment when the tension was dropped. I just let out a big breath of those that sort of imply change. As I let it out I started walking in the direction where I came from, in return, as if wanting to erase that that ever even happened. When I arrived home someone asked me: Where have you been? I answered: I just went for a walk. I didn’t tell anything about the pole in the middle of my path.

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